The 20 Dollar tale

One afternoon, after millennia of arguing, four beings of pure energy and exquisite knowledge answered one of life's greatest riddles: Which weapon is most effective against a zombie horde? Pleased by their conclusion, they desired to share their knowledge with others. But with whom? The universe was empty and desolate, void of life and intelligence. Since the four beings were so badass, they decided to populate the universe.

Thus were born humans, half of whom were constructed in the image of the beings, the other half of whom were like the first half, except with a few more jiggly bits.

Having giving birth to the universe and everything within, the beings began arguing about the logistics of mounting high-caliber chain guns to the newly-formed rhinoceroses, except this time they argued for even more millenia than before, like twice as many. When they stopped, it was 2009. "Shit," they collectively thought. Each being then adopted a form and a name in order to blend in with humanity.

Once on Earth, the beings of pure energy and exquisite knowledge saw their creations wearing a lot of jive-ass clothing. "Something must be done," said the being named Bloo, and the four being agreed; Indeed, something needed to be done.

Thus was born 20 Dollar Soda clothing. Why the name 20 Dollar Soda? Shut up and buy our t-shirts, human. You know what? Since you're asking so many stupid questions, ElTrain is totally banging your mom right now.

~fin